I cried tears in the river of love. Where many have fallen for lust. It may be a small river but also long. Many boats, some are small, some are big, new and old, floating around from shore to shore, Most have not an ounce of clue where they are sailing to, with the intention of following the same path that many have followed. The thought of them ending up around a heavenly kingdom, has most of them insane. Not realizing all the beauty that they have been missing in every shore passed. That the river has been created by the ones crying tears by the shore. Searching the heavenly kingdom, they have missed the important thing to know in their journey; the boat will land in the heavenly kingdom the happiness will last for a decent amount of time but it will not last forever, the heart break will kill the kingdom and everything that was left with it, all the known and unknown that eventually will die, they will sit on that shore where the heavenly kingdom was and that they will cry tears in the river of love. They will see many boats pass by seeking a different ending but the ending will stay the same for none of them have learned that on their way to their heavenly kingdom they should pick all the ones crying the river for you cannot have a kingdom without hearts to keep it alive.
Everybody has their demons in different ways we always have to try harder to keep the demons in, we must find the balance within our demons to contain them and not let them out, from the time we see the light this world takes over us and we became a part of it over time we feel all of its pain, growth, fallen, grief that this world has, some have demons stronger than others the one that is with the married woman, the one that is the married woman, that demon within says, “I know she is married but I can’t stop staring I wonder if he treats her as I do and when he kisses her I wonder if she is thinking about me.” The demon within her says, “I am married am I really really thinking of you?” The demons within us are not really evil they are just our dark side making some of the choice for us. Our demons are not scary we do not fear them, they are feelings and desires that we know we should in a way stay away from but we can’t, as time goes by like its been said before we learn from our mistakes and that is true in most case we know the wrong and rights, the millions things that we have said through our years of breathing have made us wish we didn’t or wish we did. Holding someones else soulmate in our hands knowing that they are theirs and not yours but still doing it, for what reason? To hurt yourself, them both or just to be an ass and have no feelings of who you damage during the process. Therefore many of who are good at keeping their demons in know that they are the ones holding the axes, on the other hand I can’t that those who do let the demons out are weak wouldn’t that be ironic?
Only fight battles you are sure to win and trying to not fall in love is not one of them, everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to be in love not everyone finds love.
Messing around now that’s the easy part, no feeling until there’s feeling. There is always two versions to every love story like the one who falls harder than falling from a bridge and the one that falls as hard as falling on a pit of roses.
When it comes to the battle of love you will need more than sword and guns. The feeling is unstoppable it is invisible you won’t even notice it until you feel it and then it will be too late to stop it you would have lost the battle without even knowing that it started.
It has been said that all’s fair in love and war, when the other person uses their weapons against you without even knowing themselves, is that a power or a curse that you don’t even know that you are hurting so many people?
Time after time we try to have a wall between you and other people to help not falling in love, is that the best idea if that is the best way to go all the time than how will you actually win a battle.’
I must let you go, well see I feel heavy knowing that you’re not with me, not knowing where you’re going, who you will meet with, not that I have any right to say anything against it, I mean you’re not mine and I know, as much as I spend my time thinking if you feel anything for me when you probably don’t even think of me, as much as it hurts to see you with someone else which I would think they are not enough for you, as much as I wish things were different they are not, I have always been afraid that the meaning of letting you go means to actually lose you but it’s a must when I feel as I am carrying a elephant and I can’t breathe, and my heart is beating as fast as the moment you finish a marathon, I must let you go I was always holding on to you while you didn’t even realize I was, I never received an answer and that is the closest to no feelings at all, I must let you go even if it means losing you.’
My love you lie always, hold your breathe as you speak, walk as slow as a moving rock. My love if I had a way to run I would for I can’t stand to look at you.
I am not even a fool for you and you are an idiot to me, you shine as much as the darkness. If I was dying an you were my cure, I am 6 feet under.
They have said before kiss a frog and it will turn into a prince, that has yet to be you, a frogs lips are far more soft by the looks of yours.
You wear the clothes from ages and feel fresh in them, I want to hide under thorns, well they are less painful than the embarrassment.
My love a pig is less sloppy than you are and I am thinking of trading you for one, my love colder than the ocean and Australia.
When you sleep I want to knock you out and take you to the other side of the world, make you go insane and never come back.
My love those are the things I would say in a horrible day for my love for you is one of a kind and as rare as white peacock in the middle of Australia.
As a kid she lived in a small town trusted everyone she was the sweetest, as an adult she moved to New York she still trusted everyone.
She was an adult yet still saw the world as she did when she was a kid.
A young adult in New York that is a killer if your not strong enough, she could be the toughest but I mean strong inside.
Time pass she met someone that was so beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes, and the sweetest woman in New York.
That woman had a husband but everything changed for her when she met that young lady from a small town.
They fell inlove, the small town young lady saw nothing wrong with what they were doing, the woman saw it as wrong while she was married.
The young lady would find simple solutions for everything yet we all know nothing is simple in life.
Everything was harder for the woman she had met and everything was simple for her while she was a free flying bird in the middle of New York.
The woman broke her heart and the young lady didn’t understand what was happening, her heart ache.
To make the ache go away she turn to one thing common in a city, liquor that worked for about to two weeks, after a while she felt nothing with liquor, she still ache.
She needed something stronger than that she turned to medication poison, that killed all the feeling she had not just the heart ache but even her soul.
When the woman came back to her she was no longer a free flying bird in the middle of New York, now she was a flying bird in middle of paradise.
to this day the woman tells the young lady story, “She was a small town young lady who saw the world as a kid, and trusted everyone.
He asked, “Is this you falling in love?”
He looks at me as if he wants the answer to be yes, and I look back as if the answer was yes.
At the same time feeling guilty in a way because I am not in love. I am unable to feel much.
I want to scream and shout that I am not the same person that I was when I was young and stupid.
The many times that I was asked the same question and I gave the same answer the same look, but I feel nothing.
Happens over and over and to stop I would say that is impossible.
He say he loves me, I actually believe him because I know he might be telling the truth.
I yet to take chances I was a fool once and will never make that mistake, see everyone has been fooled more than once I will not.
I will allow him to be a fool, I was already fooled once and he doesn’t know that I will never love like the first time.
As I lay in his bed, he looks at me with a smile on his face, his hand with mine and says the most beautiful things to me.
I on the other hand look at him with a smile on my face pretending as if I am listening.
I am just thinking to myself why does he look like he is talking to an angel?
I cannot find myself to answer, and as he falls into a deep sleep, I stay up and take a deep breathe and go over the reasons I’m with him.
Many go through my head and the most reasonable answer I come up with is that he is an angel’