Sitting and staring at walls, at a screen, at a empty room, or just a plain look. Now sometimes I like they way it feels and I think sometimes it’s for the better some staring can just let you think or not think whatever you feel like doing. Time, a best and worst thing you could have you could have a million things to do and no time for it. Every time you have great things going on take a look around and stare and see all the good things. And when thinking gets to the point of what am I doing? Where is my life going for this point on you just remember everything happens for a reason what are the reasons oh who knows! Since we always try to make everything have a purpose we use that I say just go with it I mean why not? Go through this boring live doing boring this why not? Or maybe just have fun sometimes? Blame me if I watch the movie instead of the book. Those who read the book or watch the movie, the ice cube or ice crushed, the clear cups or dark cups. I mean sometimes I don’t even know which one I am but who really thinks about it. Also the love of writing I have but when you don’t really do anything with all that does it mean something at. Same thing with everything else in people’s life some thing means a lot, and some mean just enough. Then we have when light means to see but the blind would beg a differ, or when we say ocean waves make the best sounds but the hearing would beg a differ.
It’s a feeling that sometimes is hard to explain, understand and live with. Sometimes it is so unreal it seems fictional and sometimes so real as if you could see it. Many of us have felt it, many have ignored it, many have acted on it. People all over the world may say love and trust go hand by hand, I on the other hand believe in a rather different myth/thought whatever you may choose to call it. See throughout many years ago there has been many stories of love, I enjoy reading some, listening about some even as you can tell writing about some and know that I love this story. Orpheus and Eurydice a tragic love story it is said in many tells that these two were so inlove that the whole village would talk among themselves and would say things like they are so cute together so inlove too bad that it won’t last. Sounds like a horrible thing to say from people, truth is that the Greeks believe that no one on earth could be happy all the time without something bad happening and soon to be true that wasn’t a myth. Eurydice was killed, how? That is a different same story that I will not get into feel free to read all about it, I’ll upload the whole story later. Now here is my point; Orpheus the son of Apollo who played beautiful music through his heart, his talent it could touch anyone. When he found out that Eurydice was killed he was so crushed, upset that he went to the underworld looking to get her back. He played his heart through Death, the three headed dog, Hades Queen, and Hades. The only thing that Hades asked of Orpheus to get Eurydice back was that Orpheus would walk out the underground world reaching the top where the light would hit them with Eurydice following him, but he was not allowed to look back. Simple right? Well Eurydice was dead, she was a soul you couldn’t hear her, Orpheus couldn’t hear her steps as he was walking out the underworld, at the end just a few steps from reaching the light, he looked back. Eurydice was pulled back down to Hades and never seen again by Orpheus, this story might just have been a myth all along but I believe if this were to happen to me or any other human we would have done just the same we would have looked back. Orpheus did not trust Hades word, and that Eurydice was following him, their love could have been the strongest but Orpheus distrust was way greater and powerful in this case. Love is a strong feeling, but having trust is impossible if we can’t even trust ourselves to do the right thing sometimes.’
This might sound a bit off for some but have you ever been so confused and stressed about something, someone or even yourself. I mean ya right? You maybe working on some work, a project even just making your bed. Yes! Make your bed, even if you were to tell someone that you had a hard time making your bed they would look at you like you are insane like they have never heard something so much crazier than that. I am here to say that, it actually does happen to many of us sometimes a simple task seems impossible. It may seem like that because I mean you have had the longest week, you have battle through everyday monsters some of which we create ourselves making it everyday, and one day you wake up, your bed is a mess and as you start fixing it you take a deep breathe and want to craw back into it. Some answers you may give yourself for what you are feeling; I most be depress,stress, or just becoming insane. I am here to let you know you need it, that deep breathe and I hate my life moment, the I just want to lay down for a day and watch my life go by thought. That stress and over wellness is what may actually remind you, that you are still alive, and making it because there is many of us who just cannot bare and do not make it. Everyone has that moment, after a breakup, a lost of a person we love, a loss of a job, the living check by check can’t get a break, everyone has a different moment and when that moment comes don’t just “get over it.” Do take a deep breathe because that just might be all you need at the moment.’
The day that you may, want to take me with you and take my last breath do it now or later whenever, I just ask for you to do it in a second because I know where you are taking me. The cold yet burning place that, and I’ll be heartless but I tell you I have been cold and heartless way before you’ll come to get me and believe me when I say I will not feel the pain. I have not felt pain I do not think it’s even real and if there is it will be for a second. I have not cared for my mistakes and pleasing those around me for what I care, Cause you can do the and try not to make mistakes and once you make one that’s the day you will see the backs of the people. You most be thinking what is the point of me letting you know this well, I am just saying I will not care or feel so do not waste you time and take me in a beat for that one second is all you’ll need. I know that the place that I am going to will be of heartless ones too but we have started for the good.
Blame me, blame me shall you or shall you not, what does it matter anyways. I unlike ya’ll have spent not years, not days but I have been trying to please my father that whom no one or anything is good enough for him, since the beginning of time. My story has been told a billion times, yet no one can sum it all up to making it into one original movie could ya’ll, oh little petty mortals. Now don’t be bitter at the things I am rather insulting you with, I mean what would you expect from Lucifer, Devil, Satan, Prince of Darkness, and so on oh please go ahead besides my father gave you the power to do so. Now here I go, believe me or not but this will make you question all of him and all of you.
My father has always wanted the best, everything he made, when he decide to make angels he thought every detail of me. Father made me perfect head to toe made me the most beautiful I was the best angel, I was the son he spent time on. He messed up, or did he? Father had a plan from the beginning, the problem he made me too perfect angels were made to follow him. I was not I never wanted to follow anyone and I never wanted to be followed, I had Ideas I wanted a universe were no one shall follow no one where there was no god. Father had that power of being follow he didn’t hate it, my ideas grow some of the other angels agree that made father even more bitter. Until one day he cast me out of heaven into hell the darkness, the fire, all the dead souls crying like wolves for days.
Since the day I was cast into hell my job has been punishing dead souls for their little failings, those whom at one point blame the failings on me I mean why on earth would I make ya’ll petty humans do things I rather find outrages. I still work for my father; I was made to do the job he wanted to do but wasn’t meant to do because father is good old god and him hurting souls seems out of their mind. who is the evil one? I am, my father is and you are, the perfect was always made to be an imperfect plan, my father is God has the power to do whatever he please he could have just killed me and made me again instead he gave me one of the most important/evil jobs in his empire. My father created two empires Heaven and Hell, now has passed that empire to me, understand I am not responsible for your failings, they disgust me and I am not please and when you reach me I will make you pay. You will be dead and I will have your souls, but you will still feel, and you will be hurting till the day, I stop being Lucifer. I may be evil for punishing souls, the soul who made others suffer on earth, am I really evil? My father when he gave me this job does not think I am evil.’
A pool floor the size, covering 90% of the room winter comes no problem no need to worried the floor shield will cover over it, each day will be different. The different amount of faces day by day will really show what has come together to make this room worth every person be here. Oh gosh, these would be my words one day and I know that at this moment these words sound bigger than what they are but when the dreams come true the what seems to be big words now will be tiny then. Even if I wait 5 years, 10 years or even 20 I will raise greater than those who are leaving the life of flying at this moment when they see me in the air flying next to them they will be so shocked that they will fall for not waiting to see the power in me. Those whom once own me will one day will work for me. In the mean while I am diving in those who I will climb out that pool with me, and in the moment they say they can’t swim anymore I will be their lifeguard. It’s funny how the ones flying are also the sharks tearing us apart, the pattern is simple people who dream are in a sea full of sharks, those who actually know they can make it to the shore, climb the tallest mountain, when they reached the peak, looks into the sky with their hands out and lets free, spreading their wings and flying away. When they reach the others they are so shocked that they do fall but at the same time they see the power the joint of greed. Then all of the sudden most of them become the sharks at the bottom of the sea, not letting more fly to their dreams. Yes, those whom have fly become sharks, so have they really made it to the top?
I moved long ago although it still feels like I’m new, I know by now I should have met more people I am just too tired to try to be friends with anyone right now. Well I did met someone but we haven’t really talked other than a hi, bye, and see you later. Yet everyday there’s at least minutes/hours that I just think what would happen if I tried if I actually wanted to make her smile or laugh, would that make her think of me even a little? Either way every time I go by that window of hers as I walk up to her, see her long blonde hair and her thin body I melt and I feel as if I were an ice cube trying to stay cold in a hot summer afternoon in the desert. Lovely she looks, lovely she smells, lovely she talks and smiles, an angel made perfection from the lord, and honey I don’t even pray or go to church I been told I’m like the devil on earth for my sins. I sometimes think she looks at me in a way but what if I’m wrong? She could be into the same type of things I’m into, but why if she doesn’t like action movies, thrill movies but why if Sky likes all those things? I don’t want to be passing by that window and just wonder and wonder. This goes out to you Sky, I know you may not even notice the greatest crush I carry for you but I want to try and not just wonder and maybe it won’t work but you never know, know, until you know.