living in this world we always want to feel happy all the time yet many of us will agree that noone is happy most of the time, feeling empty like you are missing a piece of yourself and you don’t know what it is and since we go day by day trying to figure why we are so empty, we do things to make that feeling go away, we sip a little more, or one more pill, this cut will make it better, or 9 months and the joy will be here, maybe a lets go on a trip behind these bars where the sun doesn’t even reach us, or the I think he really likes me we did ask me out for date number two, I know it might be too soon but I think he really does like me, maybe the bro I really think she likes me well she did sleep with me on the second date or does that not mean anything for her? Or maybe the friend ya bro I think she does like you than and thinking in his mind but not as much as I do yet besides all those thing that you might try to do to filled the empty part of yourself you will still feel empty because its somehow a human craving that we have, even if we were 100% happy you would turn it until 99% because everyone thinks noone can be 100% happy all the time doesn’t matter what they do.’
It is said not to look at a person you find attractive in a way that you will remember that person for that you will fall deep in love, that everything about that person you will want that every time you are next to them you’ll feel as if you were under water and as if you couldn’t breathe and the only thing needed would be their lips and your lips together, that when yall are next to each other and one says the right words one starts to melt, everything you seen about that person their eyes, hair, lips, hands….will have you wondering what is it that they do to make you act this way, it’s been say to never look at a person that you will not be able to be with, in a way that you’ll remember for you will fall deep inlove with that person, yet we have a weakness to stare at them from head to toe and every inch of their body that everything about them seems perfect and that the whole room disappears but that one person and that you want their lips and yours together, it is said never to look at a person that can not walk away from their perfect life to be with you, in a way you’ll remember for you’ll fall deep inlove, yet no ones life is perfect and some evil part of you wishes their life was not as perfect as it seems, and the person they have pick wasn’t the right one that they will leave their perfect life for you. I tell you not to remember that you are inlove with the person you look at that way.’
If I could fly I swear I would,
Sore through the wind and never stop not even for a second, probably right I might need
Water but I am afraid that in that moment of thirst I loss my wings and all the looks I
had before would be gone, I still like the stares, knowing that they look from the corner
of their eyes, yet none of them can fly with me, yet sometimes that is the only thing I
need it is very true I made it sound as if I didn’t care for such a thing like if when I am
out there in the world I just like to watch it go by but I do I want to know that if I were to
sore without a notice someone will notice, otherwise I’ll keep flying on my own.’
Gorgeous, I have not stopped thinking about you. Is this the part where I write a love poem about you? Nah, this time I’ll skip that part. Well see I’ll grow to love you deeply and at the end feel all very blue. Gorgeous I will walk with you holding your hand by the lakeside watching the sunset. Gorgeous we will get married to your favorite sounds of the beautiful sea. Spend our honeymoon at our beach house and run to the shore to get our toes sandy and wet. Believe me when I say I love you, when I kiss your forehead remember for how long to the time you close your eyes and open them up again. Gorgeous I want you to know that I want you to remember my hugs, the ones where I would whisper in your ear the words that made you fall in love. I love laying on your bedside. Gorgeous some how you are my everyday bread and drug. Keeps me going and so addicted to you at the sametime, is this even healthy. Anything that feels this strong most be.’
Yes I am hurting, it’s hard to see but I am, see I always feel like I’m not good enough like I should try harder until I collapse or so. I don’t want to hurt myself, I don’t want to hurt myself, why do I keep repeating it so many times if I don’t want to hurt myself? I mean yet if lets say if I were hypothetically think being in a car and crashing into a tree or going off the bridge, best case scenario would be I were to die, worst-case scenario would be if I were to live I know what thoughts may enter your mind. How is that that worst-case scenario if you would be alive?
Answers: I wake up in a hospital bed next to me my crying mother and a cop waiting to make a report. The reason, there’s just not any.
Me: How in the world am I still alive? How in the world will I pay the hospital bill? The car most be a toll! When can I get out of this bed? I mean not that I actually could before the crash when I was dealing with my depression, panic attacks and don’t forget good old stress. Oh wait, but I am alive what do I have to lose right?
- Car Crash=Broken Ribs, Leg, Neck
- Hospital=Hospital Bill
- Solution=Win or Lose?
My mind, an airplane that travels everywhere tho this airplane is rather a bit different it travels everywhere at the time, wants to see the different parts of the sky,
but can’t pay attention to one, yet this airplane can’t seem to leave the one place it stands in ya it’s still on and you are able to listen to all the engine sounds,
yet can’t get one actual sound that’s loud for everyone to hear, and that’s the moment it decides that it just doesn’t want to make any sounds anymore.’
Oh see the person that doesn’t care what anyone thinks,
See the person who cares too much what everyone thinks,
The one that cares about everyone and forgets about their self,
Oh the person who is too selfish and has no time to think about the rest because their dreams are not as big as their own,
And the one that can’t sleep at night until they get through the tough day they have tomorrow,
The one that can’t ever find love because their self-esteem is low,
And the one that has love from many and no self love.’