A pool floor the size, covering 90% of the room winter comes no problem no need to worried the floor shield will cover over it, each day will be different. The different amount of faces day by day will really show what has come together to make this room worth every person be here. Oh gosh, these would be my words one day and I know that at this moment these words sound bigger than what they are but when the dreams come true the what seems to be big words now will be tiny then. Even if I wait 5 years, 10 years or even 20 I will raise greater than those who are leaving the life of flying at this moment when they see me in the air flying next to them they will be so shocked that they will fall for not waiting to see the power in me. Those whom once own me will one day will work for me. In the mean while I am diving in those who I will climb out that pool with me, and in the moment they say they can’t swim anymore I will be their lifeguard. It’s funny how the ones flying are also the sharks tearing us apart, the pattern is simple people who dream are in a sea full of sharks, those who actually know they can make it to the shore, climb the tallest mountain, when they reached the peak, looks into the sky with their hands out and lets free, spreading their wings and flying away. When they reach the others they are so shocked that they do fall but at the same time they see the power the joint of greed. Then all of the sudden most of them become the sharks at the bottom of the sea, not letting more fly to their dreams. Yes, those whom have fly become sharks, so have they really made it to the top?’
I moved long ago although it still feels like I’m new, I know by now I should have met more people I am just too tired to try to be friends with anyone right now. Well I did met someone but we haven’t really talked other than a hi, bye, and see you later. Yet everyday there’s at least minutes/hours that I just think what would happen if I tried if I actually wanted to make her smile or laugh, would that make her think of me even a little? Either way every time I go by that window of hers as I walk up to her, see her long blonde hair and her thin body I melt and I feel as if I were an ice cube trying to stay cold in a hot summer afternoon in the desert. Lovely she looks, lovely she smells, lovely she talks and smiles, an angel made perfection from the lord, and honey I don’t even pray or go to church I been told I’m like the devil on earth for my sins. I sometimes think she looks at me in a way but what if I’m wrong? She could be into the same type of things I’m into, but why if she doesn’t like action movies, thrill movies but why if Sky likes all those things? I don’t want to be passing by that window and just wonder and wonder. This goes out to you Sky, I know you may not even notice the greatest crush I carry for you but I want to try and not just wonder and maybe it won’t work but you never know, know, until you know.’
Gorgeous, I have not stopped thinking about you. Is this the part where I write a love poem about you? Nah, this time I’ll skip that part. Well see I’ll grow to love you deeply and at the end feel all very blue. Gorgeous I will walk with you holding your hand by the lakeside watching the sunset. Gorgeous we will get married to your favorite sounds of the beautiful sea. Spend our honeymoon at our beach house and run to the shore to get our toes sandy and wet. Believe me when I say I love you, when I kiss your forehead remember for how long to the time you close your eyes and open them up again. Gorgeous I want you to know that I want you to remember my hugs, the ones where I would whisper in your ear the words that made you fall in love. I love laying on your bedside. Gorgeous some how you are my everyday bread and drug. Keeps me going and so addicted to you at the sametime, is this even healthy. Anything that feels this strong most be.’
Yes I am hurting, it’s hard to see but I am, see I always feel like I’m not good enough like I should try harder until I collapse or so. I don’t want to hurt myself, I don’t want to hurt myself, why do I keep repeating it so many times if I don’t want to hurt myself? I mean yet if lets say if I were hypothetically think being in a car and crashing into a tree or going off the bridge, best case scenario would be I were to die, worst-case scenario would be if I were to live I know what thoughts may enter your mind. How is that that worst-case scenario if you would be alive?
Answers: I wake up in a hospital bed next to me my crying mother and a cop waiting to make a report. The reason, there’s just not any.
Me: How in the world am I still alive? How in the world will I pay the hospital bill? The car most be a toll! When can I get out of this bed? I mean not that I actually could before the crash when I was dealing with my depression, panic attacks and don’t forget good old stress. Oh wait, but I am alive what do I have to lose right?
- Car Crash=Broken Ribs, Leg, Neck
- Hospital=Hospital Bill
- Solution=Win or Lose?